A lot of time has passed I feel like. Time feels so relative nowadays. I’m not particularily happy with myself nor my situation although there is generally nothing badly wrong with it. My problem is that I don’t deliver on my ideas and plans. I don’t keep my own promises that I set with myself. There is very little that I am proud of right now. That’s why it’s so hard for me right now to say it out loud.
I guess life just happens but really I should be in control of it. It doesn’t feel like I am taking control of it though. There are a lot of things like I said that I am still very unhappy about and things that I realized didn’t magically go away over night although my decision was finalized which on it’s own didn’t feel good but had to be done.
The whole situation regarding the rona is still occurring at this point and I am strongly hoping that things will get better soon in regards to that. One more thing that I noticed is my lack for social contact and that I really need that now. Anything that gets me talking to people instantly makes everything so much better.
That would explain how I can play Squad, a videogame based around teamwork and communication – for hours straight – whereas I couldn’t spend the same amount of time with other videogames that I enjoy.
Anyway I’m looking ahead now and hoping that I’ll get things sorted soon. So much is happening right now that the worst decision would be to stand still. I’m trying to learn from the things I picked up on that were and still are wrong with me to better myself.
This entire post may sound very negative but I think it’s just self-reflected.
‘Till next time!
-David
